Gratitude

With Thanksgiving this week, and I usually try to do something big within my practice of gratitude. However, this year with how tough things have been. I want to write about the importance of this everyday practice of mine.

Appreciation can have a big impact on your relationship with someone. Even when its just in a customer service transaction. Here are just a few reddit posts I have upvoted:

• https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/8zufzg/underestimating_the_power_of_gratitude_recipients/
• https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/b0u98b/the_power_of_gratitude_in_the_workplace_being/
• https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/a9ns7g/if_you_feel_thankful_write_it_down_as_it_may_be/
• https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/3prgzx/the_power_of_thank_you_a_key_ingredient_to/
• https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/20e7vc/recipe_for_a_happy_life_less_materialism_more/

Spreading and receiving gratitude makes me feel good and connected to those I love and care about. It impacts all the areas of your life: family, friends, colleagues, neighbors and community. I did not grow up with all this gratitude, but when I saw first hand in early adulthood the power of it, it had to become a practice. I feel like it comes more naturally out of me now.

Reflecting on the recent events of my life, lack of appreciation greatly led to the end of my relationship, the lies uncovered were the guillotine as they made the lack of love so apparent. Showing appreciation could have turned things around… for a time, but in the end I feel I am better off not in that relationship. There were many other issues I was blind to. This year, I am working on appreciating myself and seeing all the love I already have in my life.

If I Believed in Signs

I feel like through this divorce process things that I feel are coincidental are slapping me in the face left and right. Mainly because of being in this situation I am noticing things that relate to how I am feeling and what I am thinking. If I believed in signs who knows what I would be doing right now, most likely making poor or rash decisions.

Here is the thing with signs, yes it may seem like they are telling you to do something or make a particular decision, BUT coincidence are common. Also, if you are in a crazy time in life, you are just going to notice that kind of sh*t. The probability that a “sign” will happen is highly likely then. I studied physics and therefore statistics, they are merely accidental happenings occurring all the time and are in no way related to major life choices you are making.

However, for fun… let us look over the signs I have noticed as I am going through this big life change.

• Colorado ads have popped up everywhere I go and suddenly we have had a lot of visitors from Colorado at the museum, from the exact day things turned for the worst in my relationship. I have desired to live in Colorado since Summer 2008 when I had an internship in Boulder. Every time I go back to Colorado I yearn to be there.
• Music that so perfectly expresses how I feel has been releasing, such as Sam Smith’s How do you sleep?, Post Malone’s Goodbyes and Selena Gomez’s Lose You to Love Me.
• A lot of people from my past (friends, professors, colleagues, etc.) are experiencing break ups and posting things on social media that directly related to the issues my partner and I had.
• My wedding band fell apart. It had a wood inlay with resin over it to keep it secure. Within a week of the events that made my life feel like it was imploding, the resin popped all around the ring and the wood started shifting. The weekend before I broke up with my partner it just fell out.
• My fertility got the all clear from my doctor (which I did not tell my partner about) when my partner began to make statements like, “I guess we should get started on having kids because we are behind everyone else, ” and “Well, we need to have kids so that someone can take care of us when we get old.” Not valid reasons to have children, but he could have also been scared. Unfortunately, that was not the case.
• A now friend who considered me, “just a hook up,” added me on Snapchat around the time I started considering divorce (end of May). Coincidentally he has connected with me in some way every time I was on the verge of breaking up with my partner. He also lives in Colorado, yet another coincidence.

What does all this mean? Nothing. It just makes you think. Thinking is good. None of this made the decision for me. This process is not easy and following signs make it all the more stressful. Love from friends and family is essential for moving forward and I highly recommend as many hugs as possible. Hugs make me feel like the problems are melting away.

Hiking Turned Spontaneous Drive

Last Sunday, I figured I would hike Storm King Mountain since it was on my list and I could pass by the Beacon farmers market to get the brilliant goat cheese. Turns out, on can not turn off to the trail head from the South bound side of Route 9W. I had to drive 3 miles to the next exit and I found myself at the West Point visitor center and museum… They are not actually in West Point by the way. West Point does have restrictions for going there, as they should. I figured I should check it out what I can since I am here. No regrets. I live for adventures like this.

West Point is nestled at a bend on the West bank of the Hudson river where you can not see it coming up for New York. That is what makes it such an ingenious spot to place a military academy. There is a brief history on their website if you want to know more.

Its free. The visitors center really gives you an idea about going to school there, while the museum displays objects and artifacts of the US army’s history. The basement is where you find the big guns and crafty weaponry. It was a quick side trip.

I got back on the road to get back to Storm King Mountain. Turned out to be a historically significant site. The Freedom Road, “The route traveled by the 52 American hostages from Stewart airport to West Point after their release from captivity in Iran January 25, 1981.” Honestly, I thought… It was the 1980s… Why did they not just get in a car? Turns out, they were on buses and Route 9W was part of the path they took.

The hike was beautiful as it was the last weekend to catch a glimpse of that gorgeous Fall foliage. I also got to do some bouldering. The views were amazing. It can be a quick hike too, if you do not stop as often as I did to drop your jaw.

Post hike I was starving and thanked my past self for hiding an RXbar in my Camelbak, but I also stopped by a farm stand for a classic NY Apple Cider donut. That and the sandwich I picked up were the perfect end to the day.

Motivation

First… sorry I did not complete the last post before it posted. It is complete now, with pictures. I probably could go into more detail, but it was a great trip and much needed!

Now to this post… I feel like I have talked about how I am self motivated person before… like early on when I wrote more about fitness. However, you also have to be motivated to move forward in life. Sometimes you just have to just do the difficult task and all the others seem so much easier.

I have an appointment tomorrow with a divorce lawyer. I needed to do this. Cohabitation post break up is not healthy. While I am looking and applying for jobs… I need a break from this. Its intense at times.

It was difficult and hurt my former partner, but it needs to be done. We both need to move forward so we can heal. The sooner the better. Also, if I move to my location of choice *hint… mountains, f*ck loads of them* then it should be easier to get interviews and get a job. I just have to be wise and spend at least 6 hours a day searching and applying for jobs. I could do it… its scary, but I could do it.

#BlessedToBeASelfMotivator