I ended my 10 year relationship with my partner.
Even before the weekend in Cooperstown, NY, I knew I would never feel the same way again and was just a bundle of nerves about the thought of ending such a long relationship. The relationship, however, turned out to be nothing like I thought it was and my partner became a stranger to me so quickly. Things over 2019 had become so strained. Then I uncovered a 10 year old lie, which led to me learning of more lies from over the years.
This is what I have been going through.
While I have to carefully navigate the legal termination of this relationship and continue to cohabitate until I figure out a new plan for my life or at least what my life will look like for a little while. I assume it will be finding a new job that has a salary and benefits. I will move to an area I have wanted to live for a long time and where I have more of a support system.
It scares me that I was financially dependent on someone else for the past 2 years.
Finally making my decision concrete has made me feel like life can finally start moving forward for both of us. I have spent years feeling like it was my responsibility to carry the relationship and to make all the sacrifices for our future, which only made me resentful. Additionally, over the last 2 months, I felt so guilty because this human is dependent on me and I put myself in a situation where I allowed poor treatment.
It will take a lot of time and work on both our parts, but life will be good again.