To be honest, I really had no clue what to write about this week. I started writing about 2 different topics and just could not stay focused to complete them. So I am going to write about what is on my mind right now.
Last weekend we spent a long weekend in New York State’s Hudson Valley where we are moving to at the end of this month. I learned just how very important it is to say New York State, not New York. We found an apartment to live in for our first year there. I have also just applied to 2 positions I am excited about at local historical societies/museums. We even spent a couple days around New York City. It was my first time being in that area of the country. I loved it and am looking forward to exploring more.
All this moving stuff (planning and preparing for the trip, scheduling appointments to see apartments, deciding on a place, having to start packing again, etc.), has stressed me out quite a bit. I did not get a cycle in April. I stopped working out right before the trip because I had a feeling my cycle was not going to come and the thought of working out stressed me out more. We walked a lot during our trip and enjoyed eating out once a day with treats. It felt like a relief.
Upon returning I just feel like walking and hatha yoga help relieve stress and resistance training only adds to it. Plus, I said if my cycle stopped I would stop the workouts. I think the hardest part is dealing with the weight shaming I have experienced from others and myself. When I start hearing it from others I start doing it myself. And today I packed up the clothes that do not fit me. Not much fits me right now. So part of me feels like I should be working hard to get rid of the excess weight ASAP.
It is ok though. Surprisingly, I lost a pound after the trip. I also just bought a pair of shorts that fit me and boy does having clothes that fit make a big difference in how you feel about yourself. My partner reminded me yesterday that this is a process and I am making the right choices. Which helped me sweep out the binge eating thoughts of, “I have that dark chocolate bar I could eat, chocolate makes everything better.” In this case, not so much.
I am thankful we are making this move together. We have been in sync with supporting each other lately and it is a blessing. Even though I had some tough moments lately, I feel grateful and fortunate.