Honestly, this time off of work and activity has been both good and bad. I have had a chance to relax, de-stress and spend time with loved ones. I have had a lot of time to help my partner prepare for interviews, research the areas we might move to, look into places I could potentially work and develop future plans. I also have had the opportunity to just do exactly what I would like.
Lately however, I do not know what I feel like doing or feel like doing nothing. This is an unusual feeling for me. It worries me too because being active regularly supports my happiness. Walking, yoga, running, working out and even just dancing around my apartment are things that are part of who I am. I have not been doing them and I worry about what that means. Is this a sign that I am depressed or taking a turn toward that direction?
I went for a walk yesterday. A long walk, 5 miles. I forced myself to do it and I was glad I did, while also telling myself I was miserable. I think part of the reason I felt that way was because I had to watch all these other folks on the river path doing what I use to do, run. Being active was the way I de-stressed and boosted my mood. It has been difficult to do so without it and I know my partner is tired of my wining.
I have been venting to him about my feelings and concerns. I am fortunate to have someone who listens to me even when I know I am being irrational. I am also lucky to have friends and family who support me. Maybe this is just a low time in my life and I need this to rest up for all the changes we will experience this Spring.
I am going to continue to push myself to go for walks and try to play some music to get me moving around the apartment more because it makes me feel like more than nothing.