What I Ate This Week (11/23 – 11/29/2017)

Oh man was I bad over the holiday… Its okay though. I got home and went right back to eating my usual.

Breakfast

Apples + Yogurt + Walnuts + Cinnamon + 4 double chocolate cookies + pita chips – the last two items were from me giving in due to the stress of my partner’s grandmother criticizing me…

Apple + a pretzel + a Sciacca sausage stuffed pretzel from Gus’s Pretzels

Cheese + carrots + 1/2 PB&J OR 1/2 a Sciacca sausage stuffed pretzel

Maple pecan oats – Simple and filling just like breakfast should be. I cooked rolled oats with water, soymilk, flax, pecans and cinnamon, then drizzled about a teaspoon of pure maple syrup on top.

Lunch

Thanksgiving with my family – Turkey + mashed potatoes + gravy + mac and cheese + broccoli salad + pecan sweet potato mash + green bean casserole + stuffing + roll + some black olives

Apple with peanut butter + Cheese

Sweet potato curry

Egg and Cheese square from Potbelly with a pecan pie Larabar

Apple beet carrot ginger juice + avocado toast – one of the days I followed it up with a cutie

 

Dinner

Pepita and persimmon salad with leftover bacon wrapped smokies – half healthy, half helping my mother clean out her fridge.

Mom’s Special from Mom’s Deli with a side salad – this sandwich is my all time favorite food.

Baked Lasagna + one toasted ravioli + a slice of Italian bread with olive oil + a slice and a half of my partner’s King of the Hill pizza from Mama’s on the Hill – I am usually a Favaza’s gal, but they were closed on Sunday and Mama’s was great! Also we skipped lunch that day so I was pretty hungry.

Burrito bowl – another winner from Minimalist Baker

Lentil barley soup – I had all the ingredients and really wanted to get the barley out of my freezer

Dessert

A whole lot of my Uncle’s rice crispy creation (this year he made a turkey from chocolate rice crispy treats) + Angel food cake + a few cookies – this was just on Thanksgiving… maybe my subconscious thinks, “put things in your hole to keep potential aggressive statements from coming out of it.”

Great Pumpkin concrete from Ted Drewes

Speculoos cookies from Aldi

Chocolate

 

 

Changing Myself

I have lectured my family on how to live their lives more than I ever should have. I have come to understand that has caused issues in our relationship and I am trying not to provide input when they did not ask for it.

I had a lot of thoughts, “Who am I to tell them how to live their lives?”, “Are they really hurting me with these actions?”, “Would they not learn a lesson on their own without me stepping in?” and “I love them and need to be more supportive.” I am seeing positive changes in our relationship and their lives. Butting out also has made me feel less stressed all of the time. Although, holding back a lot of thoughts makes me anxious and therefore have moments of binge eating.

On Friday, I wanted to give suggestions about how to plan out the day, my partner and family can feel overwhelmed by my desire to plan everything out. I ended up eating small bits of everything in sight and would pace the kitchen because I could not calm my mind. It is not always this challenging though. I am getting better with going with the flow.

I know my planning can be useful, but sometimes its nice to be spontaneous and open to change. Are you working to change anything about yourself to better your relationships?

What I Ate This Week (11/16 – 11/22/2017)

Happy Thanksgiving to those in the states! This past week we were down on the Gulf Coast this week for a family wedding and time with my partner’s side of the family. Again, I will add the pictures I have taken when we return. Although, some items you can find on my Instagram.

Breakfast

Apples + cinnamon + walnuts + plain greek yogurt

Lunch

Gumbo and side salad

Romaine wrap and a Carrot Cake Larabar – my in-laws do not buy a lot of produce, but I ate what they had. Romaine leaves + corn tortillas + Swiss cheese + hummus + tomato.

RXbar and potato chips – Ah, road trip food… not the healthiest.

Market salad and shared bowl of French onion soup at the Southern Grind

Mahi fish tacos at Cactus Flower Cafe on Pensacola Beach

Dinner

Rehearsal dinner at Muriel’s Jackson Square – a favorite extra fancy place to eat in NOLA. The champagne was the best I ever had.

Carnitas with corn and beans at Las Cazuelas

Wedding feast – There was so much food… and I shamelessly tried just about everything. The highlights were the mini muffulettas, corn and blue crab soup, bacon wrapped scallops, and the traditional almond wedding cake.

Villaggio salad and baked oysters

Conecuh sausage mac and cheese at Luna’s Eat and Drink

Split the Goat cheese salad and smoked duck flat at Villaggio

Salad, steamed broccoli and meatballs with fusilli

 

 

 

Motivation and Body Image

I want to be completely honest with this blog and Wednesday morning I watched a YT video that made me realize that I was leaving out part of my story. I mentioned that I gained weight and I know I can get back on track. I had gotten up to 31 lbs heavier than a year ago and slowly it is coming off from the hard work I have been doing. Hard work being saying no to all the fried food and sweet temptations.

Motivation has been challenging. I see myself struggle to walk as much as I use to or put on size 12 pants I have not fit since early 2015. I have had times where I looked at my body in disgust and that action disturbed me because I know I deserve to treated better than that including by myself. Its so funny, 4 years ago it seemed like I was going through all these exact same emotions. I had just completed an internship at the end of August 2013 and then started a job in November 2013, which brought my spirit back to life.

Now, I may not have just started a new job, but within the last 2 weeks I have been seeing a upswing in my overall well being. I really needed this. I use to feel beautiful and sexy at this size. I know others see me that way too. Last weekend, I started to see it again. Granted initially I was trying on all the dresses I own to wear at the family wedding this weekend, but once I found one that would work I looked at my legs and thought, “I have nice legs” I smiled.

It is just proof that whatever may be going on, you have to remember to be there for yourself and love yourself as you are at that moment. Loving yourself is not this smooth easy going thing, just like our lives. I am still working on giving myself the love I deserve and keeping motivated during this period of healing and change. This stumbling is just part of the process to getting back on track.

What I Ate This Week (11/9 – 11/15/2017)

Last week before 12 days with family in New Orleans and St. Louis. I allowed myself a treat, but nothing else until wedding cake in NOLA. 😉 I am pretty excited for wedding cake and I can not mess up all my hard work. Also, sorry for no pictures. I’ll have to add some later.

Breakfast

English muffin + Mustard + Spinach + Tomato + Soft-boiled egg and Spiced Carrot juice

Apple pie oats – Rolled oats + apple + flax meal + soy milk for added protein + cinnamon

Lunch

Mary’s Gone crackers + Cucumber + Tomato + Jalapeno hummus and a protein shake

Spinach and tomato scramble with spicy roasted potatoes

Dinner

Curried lentil and sweet potato bowl – Another home run from the Minimalist Baker blog

Creamy mushroom, kale and lentil soup – was not as good as the pictures on the blog lead you to believe…

Replicated Soba Noodle Bowl from Juiceland – It was just a great dish in Austin and I was craving it so I made it. I had most of the ingredients anyway.

Union Kale salad and 1/2 of the shrimp and chorizo quesadilla at Midway airport’s White Sox restaurant – the kale was tough to eat, it really needed to be massaged.

 

Snack/Dessert

Garrett’s Pecan Caramel Crisp popcorn – first treat since Halloween, I semi-shared a small bag with my partner.

Nothing, I Feel Like Doing Nothing

Honestly, this time off of work and activity has been both good and bad. I have had a chance to relax, de-stress and spend time with loved ones. I have had a lot of time to help my partner prepare for interviews, research the areas we might move to, look into places I could potentially work and develop future plans. I also have had the opportunity to just do exactly what I would like.

Lately however, I do not know what I feel like doing or feel like doing nothing. This is an unusual feeling for me. It worries me too because being active regularly supports my happiness. Walking, yoga, running, working out and even just dancing around my apartment are things that are part of who I am. I have not been doing them and I worry about what that means. Is this a sign that I am depressed or taking a turn toward that direction?

I went for a walk yesterday. A long walk, 5 miles. I forced myself to do it and I was glad I did, while also telling myself I was miserable. I think part of the reason I felt that way was because I had to watch all these other folks on the river path doing what I use to do, run. Being active was the way I de-stressed and boosted my mood. It has been difficult to do so without it and I know my partner is tired of my wining.

I have been venting to him about my feelings and concerns. I am fortunate to have someone who listens to me even when I know I am being irrational. I am also lucky to have friends and family who support me. Maybe this is just a low time in my life and I need this to rest up for all the changes we will experience this Spring.

I am going to continue to push myself to go for walks and try to play some music to get me moving around the apartment more because it makes me feel like more than nothing.

What I Ate This Week (11/2 – 11/8/2017)

One week of eating better and I am already 5 lbs lighter. No sweets, no fried foods, less grains and a f*ck load of vegetables. I needed a couple months from the time I started this to get my mind right to do this for myself. I am worth it.

Breakfast

Rum raisin oats and green juice – so glad these oats are gone, they were nothing like the awesomeness of the bailey’s oats.

Spiced carrot juice and Soft boiled egg on an english muffin

Lunch

Veggie sandwich – same as last week – 2 slices of oat nut bread + hummus + olive tapenade + avocado + spinach + cucumber + radish + roasted bell pepper + tomato

Salad – everything from between the bread of the veggie sandwich + more spinach + balsamic vinegar

I also had apple nachos with these each day.

Dinner

Vegetarian Poutine – baked potato fries (400 degrees F, salt them, separate them out to not touch each other on a silpat mat, no oil)  + mushroom and onion gravy + cheese curds

Tapas at our favorite local restaurant – Chop salad + Cajun edamame + Lamp pops + Pork belly mac and cheese

Stir Fry – a recipe testing gig that was excellent

Curried Lentil and Sweet Potato Bowl

 

Sugar: Withdrawal Is A B*tch Part 5

So as one can see from my What I Ate This Week Posts, I have been bad. I ate a lot of sweets and have gone back to an old pattern of eating when I am anxious. It is not the first time and it does not make me a horrible person. It started because I was feeding negative emotions and I am trying to address them in a healthy way now.

I finally made a firm decision Halloween night that this habit of constant snacking on junk needed to stop. Unfortunately, that plan came about because I had an episode with my heart condition. I woke up the next morning with a sore chest, realizing my acne has gotten worse and constipation as a reminder of what too much sugar in diet does to me.

On Wednesday I ate 3 satiating meals without added sugar or snacking, but was feeling mentally foggy. I had a headache most of the day on Thursday. Eating healthy meals did not help at all. I felt sort of better Friday morning, but there were rough moments over the weekend. Even though I was full and had enjoyed my food, I had to fight urges to eat dessert after each meal.

Sugar withdrawal sucks, but it can be manageable. I am a reasonable person. I know I have made this change before and can do it again. I also want this. I want to feel good again. I want to feel comfortable. My health is important and I am not just saying all of this to remind myself of that. I deserve this.

What I Ate This Week (10/26 – 11/1/2017)

This week started off in St. Louis (my hometown) and yesterday getting back to healthy was my goal. Sorry for the lack of pictures, I get

Breakfast

Sourdough lost bread with stewed apples, blueberries and pepitas

1/2 an English muffin topped with cheese and jam, and frozen custard with cinnamon and pecans – crazy breakfast, but it kept me full until dinner

Almond butter and jelly sandwich, Larabar and Laughing Cow cheese wedge – Train breakfast

Green juice and rum raisin oatmeal

Lunch

1/2 Mom’s Special from Mom’s Deli – This is my favorite thing to eat. I love a lot of different things, but this sandwich tops everything for me. I not only tastes good, but it was always around during the highlights of my early childhood.

Pretzels with Laughing cow cheese, spicy chicken, tomato and frozen custard with cinnamon and pepitas – it is quite common when I eat at my Mom’s house to have random leftovers until you feel satiated.

Veggie sandwich – inspired by my recent time in California.

Dinner

Cheddar jalapeño black bean burger at Fritas

Butternut squash fritters with cottage cheese – My mom found a recipe online and I made it for her. The recipe was not the clearest so they came out ok.

Imo’s veggie pizza

Leftover soup with pita

Butter chicken

Snacks/Dessert

Grandma cake – my grandma makes a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting for each of our birthdays that makes you feel loved when you eat it.

Jackfruit snow with boba from St. Louis Bubble Tea

Crackers with tomato and braunschweiger

Way too much Halloween candy…

Apple slices with peanut butter and cacao nibs